THE NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE OF MELLEN THOMAS BENEDICT

When I was in Hawaii with Moritz in 2010 to shoot scenes and interviews for my movie AWAKE IN THE DREAM I met MELLEN THOMAS BENEDICT, who had died of cancer a few years earlier and had been clinically dead for an hour and a half.
When he returned to his body, no cancer cells could be diagnosed.

Like all the people with near-death experiences I had met so far, this experience had completely changed his life.
I like to share the following short interview of Mellen with people who are grieving or dealing with death:

THE ROAD TO DEATH

In 1982 I died from terminal cancer. The condition I had was inoperable, and any
kind of chemotherapy they could give me would just have made me more of a
vegetable. I was given six to eight months to live. I had been an information freak in
the 1970's, and I had become increasingly despondent over the nuclear crisis, the
ecology crisis, and so forth.
So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I began to believe that nature had made a
mistake, and that we were probably a cancerous organism on the planet. I saw no
way that we could get out from all the problems we had created for ourselves and the
planet. I perceived all humans as cancer, and that is what I got.
That is what killed me. Be careful what your world view is. It can feed back on you,
especially if it is a negative world view. I had a seriously negative one. That is what
led me into my death. I tried all sorts of alternative healing methods, but nothing
helped.
So I determined that this was really just between me and God. I had never really
faced God before, or even dealt with God. I was not into any kind of spirituality at the
time, but I began a journey into learning about spirituality and alternative healing. I
set out to do all the reading I could and bone up on the subject, because I did not
want to be surprised on the other side. So I started reading on various religions and
philosophies. They were all very interesting, and gave hope that there was something
on the other side.
On the other hand, as a self-employed stained-glass artist at the time, I had no
medical insurance whatsoever. So my life savings went overnight in testing. Then I
was facing the medical profession without any kind of insurance. I did not want to
have my family dragged down financially, so I determined to handle this myself.
There was not constant pain, but there were black-outs. I got so that I would not dare
to drive, and eventually I ended up in hospice care.
I had my own personal hospice caretaker. I was very blessed by this angel who went
through the last part of this with me. I lasted about eighteen months. I did not want
to take a lot of drugs, since I wanted to be as conscious as possible. Then I
experienced such pain that I had nothing but pain in my consciousness, luckily only
for a few days at a time

THE LIGHT OF GOD

I remember waking up one morning at home about 4:30 am, and I just knew that
this was it. This was the day I was going to die. So I called friends and said goodbye.
I woke up my hospice
caretaker and told her. I had a private agreement with her that she would leave my
dead body alone for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things
happen when you die. I went back to sleep.
The next thing I remember is the beginning of a typical near-death experience.
Suddenly I was fully aware and I was standing up, but my body was in the bed.
There was this darkness around me. Being out of my body was even more vivid than
ordinary experience. It was so vivid that I could see every room in the house, I could
see the top of the house, I could see around the house, I could see under the house.
There was this Light shining. I turned toward the Light. The Light was very similar
to what many other people have described in their near-death experiences. It was so
magnificent. It istangible; you can feel it. It is alluring; you want to go to it like you
would want to go to your ideal mother's or father's arms. As I began to move toward
the Light, I knew intuitively that if I went to the Light, I would be dead.
So as I was moving toward the Light I said, "Please wait a minute, just hold on a
second here. I want to think about this; I would like to talk to you before I go."
To my surprise, the entire experience halted at that point. You are indeed in control
of your near-death experience. You are not on a roller coaster ride. So my request
was honored and I had some conversations with the Light. The Light kept changing
into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and
signs.
I asked the Light, "What is going on here? Please, Light, clarify yourself for me. I
really want to know the reality of the situation." I cannot really say the exact words,
because it was sort of telepathy.
The Light responded. The information transferred to me was that your beliefs shape
the kind of feedback you are getting before the Light. If you were a Buddhist or
Catholic or Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own stuff. You have a
chance to look at it and examine it, but most people do not. As the Light revealed
itself to me, I became aware that what I was really seeing was our Higher Self matrix.
The only thing I can tell you is that it turned into a matrix, a mandala of human
souls, and what I saw was that what we call our Higher Self in each of us is a matrix.
It's also a conduit to the Source; each one of us comes directly, as a direct experience
from the Source. We all have a Higher Self, or an oversoul part of our being. It
revealed itself to me in its truest energy form. The only way I can really describe it is
that the being of the Higher Self is more like a conduit. It did not look like that, but it
is a direct connection to the Source that each and every one of us has. We are
directly connected to the Source.
So the Light was showing me the Higher Self matrix. And it became very clear to me
that all the Higher Selves are connected as one being, all humans are connected as
one being, we are actually the same being, different aspects of the same being. It
was not committed to one particular religion. So that is what was being fed back to
me. And I saw this mandala of human souls. It was the most beautiful thing I have
ever seen. I just went into it and, it was just over- whelming. It was like all the love
you've every wanted, and it was the kind of love that cures, heals, regenerates.
As I asked the Light to keep explaining, I understood what the Higher Self matrix is.
We have a grid around the planet where all the Higher Selves are connected. This is
like a great company, a next subtle level of energy around us, the spirit level, you
might say. Then,after a couple of minutes, I asked
for more clarification. I really wanted to know what the universe is about, and I was
ready to go at that time.
I said "I am ready, take me." Then the Light turned into the most beautiful thing that
I have ever seen: a mandala of human souls on this planet.
Now I came to this with my negative view of what has happen on the planet. So as I
asked the light to keep clarifying for me, I saw in this magnificent mandala how
beautiful we all are in our essence, our core. We are the most beautiful creations.
The human soul, the human matrix that we all make together is absolutely fantastic,
elegant, exotic, every-thing. I just cannot say enough about how it changed my
opinion of human beings in that instant.
I said, "Oh, God, I did not know how beautiful we are." At any level, high or low, in
whatever shape you are in, you are the most beautiful creation, you are. I was
astonished to find that there was no evil in any soul.
I said "How can this be?" The answer was that no soul was inherently evil. The
terrible things that happened to people might make them do evil things, but their
souls were not evil. What all people seek, what sustains them, is love, the Light told
me. What distorts people is a lack of love.
The revelations coming from the Light seemed to go on and on, then I asked the
Light, "Does this mean that humankind will be saved?"
Then, like a trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Great Light spoke,
saying, "Remember this and never forget; you save, redeem and heal yourself. You
always have. You always will. You were created with the power to do so from before
the beginning of the world."
In that instant I realized even more. I realized that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN SAVED,
and we saved ourselves because we were designed to self-correct like the rest of
God's universe. This is what the second coming is about. I thanked the Light of God
with all my heart.
The best thing I could come up with was these simple words of totally appreciation:
"Oh dear God, dear Universe, dear Great Self, I love my Life."
The Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply. It was as if the Light was
completely absorbing me. The Love Light is, to this day, indescribable. I entered into
another realm, more profound than the last, and became aware of something more,
much more. It was an enormous stream of Light, vast and full, deep in the Heart of
Life. I asked what this was.
The Light responded, "This is the RIVER OF LIFE. Drink of this manna water to your
heart's content."
So I did. I took one big drink and then another. To drink of Life Itself! I was in
ecstasy.
Then the Light said, "You have a desire." The Light knew all about me, everything
past, present and future.
"Yes!" I whispered.
I asked to see the rest of the Universe; beyond our solar system, beyond all human
illusion. The Light then told me that I could go with the Stream. I did, and was
carried through the Light at the end of the tunnel. I felt and heard a series of very
soft sonic booms. What a rush!

THE VOID OF NOTHINGNESS

Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of Life. I
saw the earth fly away. The solar system, in all its splendor, whizzed by and
disappeared. At faster than light speed, I flew through the center of the galaxy,
absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned that this galaxy, and all of the
Universe, is bursting with many different varieties of LIFE. I saw many worlds. The
good news is that we are not alone in this Universe!
As I rode this stream of consciousness through the center of the galaxy, the stream
was expanding in awesome fractal waves of energy. The super clusters of galaxies
with all their ancient wisdom flew by. I thought that I was going somewhere;
actuallytraveling. But then I realized that, as the stream was expanding, my own
consciousness was also expanding to take ineverything in the Universe! All creation
passed by me. It was an unimaginable wonder! I truly was a Wonder Child; a babe
in Wonderland!
It seemed as if all the creations in the Universe soared by me and vanished in a
speck of Light. Almost immediately, a second Light appeared. It came from all sides,
and was so different; aLight made up of more than every frequency in the Universe. I
felt and heard several velvety sonic booms again. My consciousness, or being, was
expanding to interface with the entire Holographic Universe and more.
As I passed into the second Light, the awareness came to me that I had just
transcended the Truth. Those are the best words I have for it, but I will try to
explain. As I passed into the second Light, I expanded beyond the First Light. I
found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence. I could see or perceive
FOREVER, beyond Infinity.
I was in the Void.
I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang. I had crossed over the beginning of time
- the First Word - the First vibration. I was in the Eye of Creation. I felt as if I was
touching the Face of God. It was not a religious feeling. Simply I was at one with
Absolute Life and Consciousness.
When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could experience all of
creation generating itself. It was without beginning and without end. That's a mind-
expanding thought, isn't it? Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a singleevent which
created the Universe. I saw that the Big Bang is only one of an infinite number of Big
Bangs creating Universes endlessly and simultaneously. The only images that even
come close in human terms would be those created by supercomputers using fractal
geometry equations.
The ancients knew of this. They said Godhead periodically created new Universes by
breathing out, and de-creating otherUniverses by breathing in. These epochs were
called Yugas. Modern science called this the Big Bang. I was in absolute, pure
consciousness. I could see or perceive all the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and de-
creating themselves. Instantly I entered into them all simultaneously. I saw that
each and everylittle piece of creation has the power to create. It is verydifficult to try
to explain this. I am still speechless about this.
It took me years after I returned to assimilate any words at all for the Void
experience. I can tell you this now; the Void is less than nothing, yet more than
everything that is! The Void is absolute zero; chaos forming all possibilities. It is
Absolute Consciousness; much more than even Universal Intelligence.
Where is the Void? I know. The Void is inside and outside everything. You, right now
even while you live, are always inside and outside the Void simultaneously. You don't
have to go anywhere or die to get there. The Void is the vacuum or nothingness
between all physical manifestations. The SPACE between atoms and their
components.
Modern science has begun to study this space between everything. They call it Zero-
point. Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or to
infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of yet, to measure infinity accurately.
There is more of the zero space in your own body and the Universe than anything
else!
What mystics call the Void is not a void. It is so full of energy, a different kind of
energy that has created everything that we are. Everything since the Big Bang is
vibration, from the first Word, which is the first vibration.
The biblical "I am" really has a question mark after it. "I am?”
What am I?"
So creation is God exploring God's Self through every way imaginable, in an ongoing,
infinite exploration through every one of us. Through every piece of hair on your
head, through every leaf on every tree, through every atom, God is exploring God's
Self, the great "I am". I began to see that everything that is, is the Self, literally,
your Self, my Self. Everything is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a
leaf falls. That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe.
Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the universe. There is God in that, and
God in the Void.
As I was exploring the Void and all the Yugas or creations, I was completely out of
time and space as we know it. In this expanded state, I discovered that creation is
about Absolute Pure Consciousness, or God, coming into the Experience of Life as we
know it. The Void itself is devoid of experience. Itis pre-life, before the first vibration.
Godhead is about more than Life and Death. Therefore there is even more than Life
and Death to experience in the Universe!
I was in the Void and I was aware of everything that had ever been created. It was
like I was looking out of God's eyes. I had become God. Suddenly I wasn't me
anymore. The only thing I can say, I was looking out of God's eyes. And suddenly I
knew why every atom was, and I could see everything. The interesting point was that
I went into the Void, I came back with this understanding that God is not there. God
is here. That's what it is all about.
So this constant search of the human race to go out and find God ... God gave
everything to us, everything is here - this is where it's at. And what we are into now
is God's exploration of God through us. People are so busy trying to become God that
they ought to realize that we are already God and God is becoming us. That's what it
is really about. When I realized this, I was finished with the Void, and wanted to
return to this creation, or Yuga. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. Then I
suddenly came back through the second Light, or the Big Bang, hearing several more
velvet booms. I rode the stream of consciousness back through all of creation, and
what a ride it was! The super clusters of galaxies came through me with even more
insights.
I passed through the center of our galaxy, which is a black hole. Black holes are the
great processors or recyclers of the Universe. Do you know what is on the other side
of a Black Hole? We are; our galaxy; which has been reprocessed from another
Universe. In its total energy configuration, the galaxy looked like a fantastic city of
lights. All energy this side of the Big Bang is light. Every sub-atom, atom, star,
planet, even consciousness itself is made of light and has a frequency and/orparticle.
Light is living stuff. Everything is made of light, even stones. So everything is alive.
Everything is made from the Light of God; everything is very intelligent.

THE LIGHT OF LOVE

As I rode the stream on and on, I could eventually see a huge Light coming. I knew
it was the First Light; the Higher Self Light Matrix of our solar system. Then the
entire solar system
appeared in the Light, accompanied by one of those velvet booms.
I saw that the solar system we live in is our larger, local body. This is our local body
and we are much bigger than we imagine. I saw that the solar system is our body. I
am a part of this, and the earth is this great created being that we are, and we are
the part of it that knows that it is.
But we are only that part of it. We are not everything, but we are that part of it that
knows that it is.
I could see all the energy that this solar system generates, and it is an incredible
light show! I could hear the Music of the Spheres. Our solar system, as do all
celestial bodies, generates a unique matrix of light, sound and vibratory energies.
Advanced civilizations from other star systems can spot life as we know it in the
universe by the vibratory or energy matrix imprint. It is child's play. The earth's
Wonder Child (human beings) make an abundance of sound right now, like children
playing in the backyard of the universe.
I rode the stream directly into the center of the Light. I felt embraced by the Light as
it took me in with its breath again, followed by another soft sonic boom. I was in this
great
Light of Love with the stream of life flowing through me. I have to say again, it is the
most loving, non-judgmental Light. It is the ideal parent for this Wonder Child.
"What now?" I wondered.
The Light explained to me that there is no death; we are immortal beings. We have
already been alive forever! I realized that we are part of a natural living system that
recycles itself endlessly. I was never told that I had to come back. I just knew that I
would. It was only natural, from what
I had seen.
I don't know how long I was with the Light, in human time. But there came a
moment when I realized that all my questions had been answered and my return was
near. When I say that all my
questions were answered on the other side, I mean to say just that. All my questions
have been answered. Every human has a different life and set of questions to
explore. Some of our
questions are Universal, but each of us is exploring this thing we call Life in our own
unique way. So is every other form of life, from mountains to every leaf on every
tree.
And that is very important to the rest of us in this Universe. Because it all contributes
to the Big Picture, the fullness of Life. We are literally God exploring God's Self in an
infinite Dance of Life. Your uniqueness enhances all of Life.

HIS RETURN TO EARTH

As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was I told, that
I would return to the same body. It just did not matter. I had complete trust in the
Light and the Life process. As the stream merged with the great Light, I asked never
to forget the revelations and the feelings of what I
had learned on the other side.
There was a "Yes". It felt like a kiss to my soul.
Then I was taken back through the Light into the vibratory realm again. The whole
process reversed, with even more information being given to me. I came back home,
and I was given lessons on the mechanics of reincarnation.
I was given answers to all those little questions I had: "How does this work? How
does that work?" I knew that I would be reincarnated. The earth is a great processor
of energy, andindividual consciousness evolves out of that into each one of us.
I thought of myself as a human for the first time, and I was happy to be that. From
what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this universe. An atom. So to
be the human part of God ... this is the most fantastic blessing. It is a blessing
beyond our wildest estimation of what blessing can be. For each and every one of us
to be the human part of this experience isawesome, and magnificent. Each and every
one of us, no matter where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing to the planet,
right where we are.
So I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby somewhere. But
I was given a lesson on how individual identity and consciousness evolve. So I
reincarnated back into
this body. I was so surprised when I opened my eyes. I do not know why, because I
understood it, but it was still such a surprise to be back in this body, back in my room
with someone looking over me crying her eyes out. It was my hospice caretaker.
She had given up an hour and a half after finding me
dead. She was sure I was dead; all the signs of death were there - I was getting stiff.
We do not know how long I was dead, but we do know that it was an hour and a half
since I was found. She honored my wish to have my newly dead body left alone for a
few hours as much as she could. We had an amplified stethoscope and many ways of
checking out the vital functions of the body to see what was happening. She can
verify that I really was dead. It was not a near-death experience. I experienced
death itself for at least an hour and a half. She found me dead and checked the
stethoscope, blood pressure and heart rate monitor for an hour and a half. Then I
awakened and saw the light outside. I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of the
bed. She heard a loud "clunk", ran in and found me on the floor.
When I recovered, I was very surprised and yet very awed about what had happened
to me. At first all the memory of the trip that I have now was not there.
I kept slipping out of this world and kept asking, "Am I alive?"
This world seemed more like a dream than that one. Within three days, I was feeling
normal again, clearer, yet different than I had ever felt in my life. My memory of the
journey came back later. I could see nothing wrong with any human being I had ever
seen. Before that I was really judgmental. I thought a lot of people were really
screwed up, in fact I thought that everybody was screwed up but me. But I got clear
on all that.
About three months later a friend said I should get tested, so I went and got the
scans and so forth. I really felt good, so I was afraid of getting bad news.
I remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the before and after scans, saying,
"Well, there is nothing here now."
I said, "Really, it must be a miracle?"
He said "No, these things happen, they are called spontaneous remission." He acted
very unimpressed. But here was a miracle, and I was impressed, even if no one else
was.

LESSONS LEARNED

The mystery of life has very little to do with intelligence. The universe is not an
intellectual process at all. The intellect is helpful; it is brilliant, but right now that is
all we process with, instead of our hearts and the wiser part of ourselves.
The center of the earth is this great transmuter of energy, just as you see in pictures
of our earth's magnetic field. That's our cycle, pulling reincarnated souls back in and
through it again. A sign that you are reaching human level is that you are beginning
to evolve an individual consciousness.
The animals have a group soul, and they reincarnate in group souls. A deer is pretty
much going to be a deer forever. But just being born a human, whether deformed or
genius, shows that you are on the path to developing an individual consciousness.
That is in itself part of the group consciousness called
humanity.
I saw that races are personality clusters. Nations like France, Germany and China
each have their own personality. Cities have personalities, their local group souls that
attractcertain people. Families have group souls. Individual identity is evolving like
branches of a fractal; the group soul explores in our individuality. The different
questions that each of us has are very, very important. This is how Godhead is
exploring God's Self - through you. So ask your questions, do your searching. You
will find your Self and you will find God in that Self, because it is only the Self.
More than that, I began to see that each one of us humans are soul mates. We are
part of the same soul fractaling out in many creative directions, but still the same.
Now I look at every
human being that I ever see, and I see a soul mate, my soul mate, the one I have
always been looking for. Beyond that, the greatest soul mate that you will ever have
is yourself.
We are each both male and female. We experience this in the womb and we
experience this in reincarnation states. If you are looking for that ultimate soul mate
outside of yourself, you may never find it; it is not there. Just as God is not "there".
God is here. Don't look "out there" for God. Look here for God. Look through your
Self. Start having the greatest love affair you ever had ... with your Self. You will
love everything out of that.
I had a descent into what you might call Hell, and it was very surprising. I did not
see Satan or evil. My descent into Hell was a descent into each person's customized
human misery, ignorance, and darkness of not-knowing. It seemed like a miserable
eternity. But each of the millions of souls around me had a little star of light always
available. But no one seemed to pay attention to it. They were so consumed with
their own grief, trauma and misery. But, after what seemed an eternity, I started
calling out to that Light, like a child calling to a parent for help.
Then the Light opened up and formed a tunnel that came right to me an insulated me
from all that fear and pain. That is what Hell really is. So what we are doing is
learning to hold hands, to come together.
learning to hold hands, to come together. The doors of Hell are open now. We are
going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of Hell together. The Light came to me and
turned into a huge golden angel.
I said, "Are you the angel of death?"
It expressed to me that it was my oversoul, my Higher Self matrix, a super-ancient
part of ourselves. Then I was taken to the Light.
Soon our science will quantify spirit. Isn't that going to be wonderful? We are
coming up with devices now that are sensitive to subtle energy or spirit energy.
Physicists use these atomiccolliders to smash atoms to see what they are made of.
They have got it down to quarks and charm, and all that. Well, one day they are
going to come down to the little thing that holds it all together, and they are going to
have to call that ... God.
With atomic colliders they are not only seeing what is in here, but they are creating
particles. Thank God most of them are short-lived milliseconds and nanoseconds. We
are just beginning to understand that we are creating too, as we go along. As I saw
forever, I came to a realm in which there is a point where we pass all knowledge and
begin creating the next fractal, the next level. We have that power to create as we
explore. And that is God expanding itself through us.
Since my return I have experienced the Light spontaneously, and I have learned how
to get to that space almost any time in my meditation. Each one of you can do this.
You do not have to die to do this. It is within your equipment; you are wired for it
already. The body is the most magnificent Light being there is. The body is a
universe of incredible Light. Spirit is not pushing us to dissolve this body. That is not
what is happening. Stop trying to become God; God is becoming you. Here.
The mind is like a child running around the universe, demanding
this and thinking it created the world. But I ask the mind: "What did your mother
have to do with this?"
That is the next level of spiritual awareness. Oh! my mother! All of a sudden you
give up the ego, because you are not the only soul in the universe.
One of my questions to the Light was "What is Heaven?"
I was given a tour of all the heavens that have been created: the Nirvanas, the Happy
Hunting Grounds, all of them. I went through them. These are thought form
creations that we have created. We don't really go to heaven; we are reprocessed.
Miracles and magic occur naturally in a loving universe...

www.mellen-thomas.com