WHAT TO DO WHEN EMOTIONAL?

I don't know about you, but I hear from many, many people that they, too, feel increasingly like they're stuck in a cosmic washing machine, especially in recent years, one that flings all their unconscious beliefs, shadows, and unmet needs into the light of consciousness.

We're often kicked out of our comfort zone by people close to us. A swarm of "asshole angels" is out there, trying to push us toward our potential.

To do this, they press on our sore spots, which are stored as "emotions" in our body cells and energy system.

By "emotions," I mean former "feelings" that, at the time they arose, were a natural reaction to an experience but were perceived as too intense and were therefore repressed instead of being fully felt. The old story from back then clings to each emotion.

For example, if a child was beaten or abused by a parent or had to witness a loved one or animal being hurt—physically or psychologically.

``` When a trigger is pressed that awakens such an old story, it can be quite exhausting, frightening, painful, or infuriating.

A whirlwind of old emotions finally wants to be seen and experienced.

And that's a good thing.

I don't believe in suppressing feelings to conform to the demands of a distorted spirituality that has tried for so long to convince us that we always have to be nice and quiet, while inside, the pressure cooker has been building up. Often, this pent-up emotion is then released onto someone who has pressed the "wrong"—or rather, the exact right—button inside us to unleash our old emotions. This can seriously jeopardize friendships or partnerships.

So what can be done?

From Diana and Michael Richardson, I learned the following tools, which I'd like to share with you now.

Because they can take relationships to a new level if both partners know and follow these rules:

THE GOLDEN RULES OF EMOTIONALITY

0. Never tell your partner that they are feeling emotional.

If your partner is feeling emotional, they especially don't want to hear about it from you.

1. Know and recognize the symptoms of emotions:

The first thing that happens when you're feeling emotional is:

BANG – You feel a wall between you and your partner. You can no longer look them in the eye, and you usually say things like, "You always say, you always do…" or "You never say, you never do…" and blame the other person. You feel like a victim, helpless, powerless. You want to shrink, hide, run away, or get revenge.

When you're emotional, you're under stress, as if your reptilian brain is active with all the physical reactions that are triggered by stress. Among other things, digestion is deactivated, your immune system doesn't function, cell regeneration is minimized, and your blood is concentrated in your extremities, ready to either fight or flee. Or you just want to play dead.

Your brain isn't operating from the frontal lobe, where you could think clearly; no, it's operating in your brainstem, bypassing conscious thought, which would be far too slow in a life-threatening situation.

So, all in all, not the ideal state to continue communicating with your partner.

2. Say to your partner out loud: "I'm emotional."

This can save so many relationships: Say: "I'm emotional! My past has just been triggered. I'm going to take some time now to deal with it, and then I'll come back to you!"

So you're not saying: "I'm emotional—fuck you!" and slamming the door.

3. Time Out—Move away from your partner.
Go somewhere where you can work through your emotions.

4. Physical Movement and Vocal Expression
Do something strenuous, something very active, to burn off the toxins in your body. Find something that helps you. From chopping wood to running. Do it consciously. Go for a run, yell into a pillow, allow your body to move wildly. Without paying any attention to the current trigger or the old story.

In this case, it's not about watching the story, but about feeling the emotion behind it and not letting it explode like a time bomb in your relationships.

Give your old feeling space to express itself—to its absolute limit, if you feel up to it. And then feel with genuine curiosity—and I'm sure you'll suddenly feel a great deal of space, light, and freedom!

Our life energy, Chi, Prana, can now flow again.

Also, allow your voice to express itself freely, to yell, to sob, etc. Of course, your inner observer will ensure that you don't unsettle anyone with this perhaps loud expression. Feel free to use a pillow to yell into if people can hear you.

Allow what your body wants to express and release right now. Observe with curiosity, without judgment, what wants to emerge—for example: Oh—interesting, my stomach is tensing up. Oh—interesting, my voice wants to roar like a lion. Oh—interesting, I feel a wave of powerful energy rising.

Who needs action movies when you're releasing your old stories from the layers of your body? 🤣

5. Go back to your partner.
Check if that wall is gone, if you can look them in the eye again.

And this isn't about analyzing the situation together. That can happen, but it doesn't have to. What's more important now is your relationship.

If you notice, oops, there's still something there, then go back and explore your emotion further.

Then work through your old stories with friends who can help, or with therapists. Thank the power of the emotion that has brought it from your subconscious into your conscious mind.

Perhaps work with forgiveness, or reframe the story within yourself until it becomes neutral.

And for you as a partner, it's wonderful to acknowledge that your counterpart wanted to protect you from being swept away by the hurricane of old emotions. So, feel free to express your gratitude if you're fortunate enough to have a partner who knows and applies these Golden Rules.

When you practice the Golden Rules of Emotionality, you will begin to appreciate the vibrancy of all feelings and be able to use them to bring this life force to the living world.